Heya!

Good morning!

I woke up about one hour ago and I feel great for some reason. Now I have two hours to practice all kinds of shit before I'm heading to school. I have no food today and I have many many hours straight of classes, but I'm sure I'll figure it out, and besides, I should be fine considering all the food I have eaten this weekend!

that's were it leads

I'm eating toasts for dinner. I love toast, I don't eat it hardly enough. One thing though... the bread crums ends up in the floor. I just hoovered.

Celeb meeting

Today I went to Madame Tussaud with my stepmum and her sister, we had a good time. Then we went shopping and ate fish and chip with my grandmum.

All in all I had a nice day. Now I have shit loads to catch up on for next week, and I have no proper food to cook for dinner and lunch box. And I need to clean Gah!

Family business

I've been busy spending time with my family this week. I am so mixed in my head right now I can't wait for things to go back to normal actually, even though I've had a great time, most of the time.

I just can't shut my mouth and smile sometimes. And I wish I could, but then it feels like my eyes are gonna burn up. It's sad that some people are just so blind that they can't make out what's reality and what's not. I, am called a liar, while my manipulative cousin is God's greatest creation. I see my family four times a year if I'm lucky, but some of them I think four times is too much sometimes.

Na'vi

Just watched Avatar. Such an amazing film. The first time I saw it was in Rio de Janeiro. I cried then.

here, there and everywhere

Hey people. Today was very hectic.

I had to be in school at 10-11, then it took me about one hour to get to my friends place where I had him looking through my 4 part harmony arrangement, I'm more or less done now, feels great.
And then my mum and my grandmum landed and I had to go all the way from Bow to Hammersmith to leave them my keys, and then back to school for band practice until 8 pm.

I was so tired, but now I'm hype.
Great.

nice one

I've written maybe 10 notes in the past hours. I call myself very ambitious and I'm gonna reward myself with, eh, some sleep maybe.

Tomorrow my mum and my gran will come to stay with us. It will be a lot of fun, I'm a bit scared that I will not practice a huge amount though. One thing is for sure. I have to hurry up getting shit done now.

I'll start with tomorrow.

FML

Head ache is definitely not gone.

I've spent the whole time transfering all my old notes into a new note book. The other one got destroyed a while ago when I spilled tea all over it.

There is no more for me to do than to try to sort this four part arrangement out anyways. I just don't think the sibelius sound will be much appreciated in my condition. Life is so hard sometimes.

But I'm listening to Frank Sinatra, such soothing voice.

I stayed up until after 2 am last night, and I just couldn't fall asleep. Today I'm stuck with a constant head ache and a lack of focus. I did really shit in class today too.

We were suppose to have band practice tonight 7-9, but I'm so glad people couldn't make it. I have so much to do and I don't have the energy to do it. So I'm gonna drink my tea and eat my chocolate and then hopefully stop pitty myself. This won't do anymore.

it's getting closer

I went to look at a flat yesterday. It was pretty cool, yet far away. I have to give them an answer as soon as possible. I really don't want to move away from bf and this place. I know I should be positive, but it's just really hard when I love my living situation so much.

But then last night an old school friend wrote to me and said she needs to find a place too. It would be nice to live with her, but the thing is that I really don't wanna pay rent for the time I'm in Sweden this summer.

Oh well. Time to have a think.

hella

Internet is back.

I'm so close to be done with my arrangement it's painful. I just can't decide on a few minor things. But today I have to make that call.

I just really have been studying anything else at all these few past days / week. I feel kind of bad I have to say. I have to get better at time management apparently.

This week is gonna be great, yet a bit stressful, since my family will be here a whole week from tomorrow. That's why I have to get loads of shit done today. I'll be fine.

Just surrender and it won't hurt at all

Okay, so I can't really figure out that mid part today, all I know it that I had to ditch my weird idea. When in doubt, leave them out... But my ending is gonna be awesome. Tomorrow I'm gonna finish my baby creation.

As for now, I'm going to Guanabara to dance and say goodbye to my friend who's going to Brazil next week. Fun times.

Baby now your troubles are invain

Apparently it's not only my internet that's down at the moment. I guess it's a great timing since FB is a big thief of time. But I did needed to go onto youtube and watch something.

As for my four part harmony, I think this crazy idea might not work out too good. I'm seriously thinking about just killing it soon.

help

Somthing is up with my laptop. Writing on this blog about everything I can do on the internet. I'm freaking our a bit.

You know it's time

Well well well. Once again I've changed the harmonies in my song because I thought the old ones sounded shit. Tomorrow I will put all of my focus FORWARD, okay.

It's one am and I'm heading towards the bed. I have a long day of studying and partying tomorrow. Hollaah!

Turbo

I wish this fella was here now, I need someone to take me out for a walk.

Emotion in motion

This is how I feel right now.

Frustrated and bored

A moment

I think I just made my arrangement so crazy. Well, Let's see how I'll go from here.

And I just wanted to shout out that my friend in Sweden made it through in a music contest on TV. I think he is very talented and I hope all the best for him. He's in a band called "hildas gitarr" if anyone fancy checking them out.

I just had to take a power nap for 30 min. I'm afraid all I can think about now is sleeping. Good God, give me strenght.

I have so much to do this weekend, and all I'm thinking about is my four part harmony shit. I should really make a plan and put the other stuff in as well, but I just need to get done with this arrangement this weekend.

Thank you

I was sitting on the tube on the way home from school and a women and two kids, maybe 10 years old walked on and sat in front of me. After a while the kid that wasn't hers said "thank you for a lovely day". I don't know why, but it made me really happy, and there I sat with a smile on my face for the rest of the time home.

You don't waste no time at all

I feel stuck again. Damnit! I think I have to try to do another part of the song and maybe come back to this in a while... Seriously frustrating shit.

So I ended up looking at adverts for flats for about two hours instead of working on my arrangement. I guess that was the only thing that you could say was okay to skip the studies for. So now It's almost midnight, I'm still hype after all the sweets. Iäm considering not going to the piano class tomorrow at 10, and go to the class at 11 instead. Hmm, but tomorrow is the day when they put up the schedule for next week.

But my changes at the arr that I did fir the day sound so much better than what I had before. I think I got the idea of it now.

Aah, we'll see.

Sugar so sweet

For the first time in about two weeks I went food shopping today. It was litterally echoing in the fridge. I also bought two bags of M&N's so that I could have a bowl to nibble from throughout the weekend.

I just realized I ate it all already.

So one, I did it again... I substituted proper food for sweets.
And two, I should have learned by now that I will never be able to save sweets. Oh, and three, I should definitely quit... I'm obviously addicted.

of course I did

I don't know if I'm stupid of smart, but I think I just started over my four part harmony arrangement. Same song, different vibe. Hmmmm....

TASTE OR WASTE?

I think I just cooked mince that was already off. I think I just have to bin it since I don't think mince should taste like salmon, or? So much for cooking tonight. Plus I forgot my roasted veggies in the oven. Let's say... crunchy! But at least it tastes nice.

I think I should start practicing some cooking...
I thought I was good at it.

Everybody had magic towels

Today was sooo long. Basically I had five straight hours of class, then BV practice and then Band practice. But the band practice really made my day. It was kind of a jam session, but still productive. We started to work on both When Doves Cry and Rock Lobster, and they will sound nothing like the originals. Amazing, I can't wait to go through my song tomorrow!

I think I need to go to sleep though. Tomorrow is even longer.

chef wanted

Now I feel like maybe I should have cooked dinner. But now, at ten in the evening I think it's way too late to even re-consider it. Stupid me. I have an eight hour straight long day tomorrow and won't be home until 9-ish. If I don't go to the gym after, then I'll be home around 10-ish. And then again, a bad time for cooking dinner, which means that I will not have a proper lunch on Tuesday, which is an even longer day. Why is life so hard to balance?

lets sing

It's 8.30 and I've Skyped with Elin for about 1,5 hours. Nice, but not very good. I just can't cope anymore. I've been really good today, even though I didn't finish my arrangement, I'm happy with what I have.

So now I'm gonna practice some vocal technique for a change, and go through everything we have to do tomorrow. Quite a lot actually. Oh, and finish of the BV's for my song this week. Then I think a movie and some sleep would do me good!

Break is over. Time for some more arrangement.

I'm having a break. I've deserved it.

the truth is all the same

My four part arrangement is going well today. I'm so excited.

I "only" have two verses and almost two choruses done now. After I'm finished with that I'm gonna write a mid section, back to verse and chorus and then a cool outro. It's only 1pm too!

where were you?

Had a really fun night at Kalinas yesterday. We playes games, drank and talked. Of course I was the first to leave... but yeh.

Today I dropped off the bf who's going home to his parents this week, then I headed to the gym just to find loads of people waiting for it to open. I came over one hour after opening time. I waited for about 25 min before I just gave up.

It's funny. Hope really is the last thing that leaves you. I think we all knew that something was up, but no one wanted to leave just yet. They might actually show up.

Well, instead I'm at home eating sweets. I'm way too extreme for my own good I think, but I have exepted it.

Today I'm dedicating my soul for studying, but that has become more or a habit I guess. I just really want to finish my four part harmony arrangement.

gotta go

Okay, I didn't quite manage to study for two hours, more like 1,5. I got a phone call from my dad which I would never say no to. And now I was on Skype with my mum. I am late.

Ready for party, time for studying.

Finally something else...

Yo yo, I have about 40 more minutes of "free time" before I'm having two intense hours of studying. Around eight I'm heading over to my friend Kalina for some drinks. Should be really good. I'm excited to not spend yet another weekend compleatly studying. Plus, if I'm gonna dedicate my entire Sunday I might as well have some fun before...

my weekend with me

I stayed up yesterday to do some transcriptions of some BV's. It went well, but I wish I would have stayed up and finished them. Waking up and trying to go back to it when I'm tired and a bit hungry doesn't do me good. But I'm gonna head out for some breakfast. Then today and tomorrow is all about studying. And beer.

There's no such thing as a wasted moment

So this evening didn't quite end up as I wanted it too... Meaning, I didn't do shit with anything. But hey, it's ony 10.30 pm, so I can always start now.

Just to sum up what I have been doing for the past, say five hours...

I've been watching Conan the Barbarian. Such a hunk!
I Skyped with my friend Elin (yes, my friend from school I see five days a week or more) for two hours and 15 minutes. Did we solve the problems of the world? Eh, no, not really, and we didn't get much smarter from trying eighter.
I've been eating loads of chocolate and no food.
I've gone down memory lane and posted maybe one too many posts on my extreamly interesting blog about things I did five and two years ago.

Am I content with my Friday night?

EXTREAMLY. But lets say I have some catching up to do.

And two years ago...

And also... today is two years ago I went i Ilha Grande a few hours outside of Rio in Brazil. I remember this as last week too.

Me, and my new two amazing friends from Irsael and Ecuador went to this island, so tropical and so beautiful and very preserved from tourism. I was under a lot of stress earlier that day with not knowing where my card was etc. but nothing could really effect me if you know what I mean... I was truly happy and positive. They called me Happy Girl.

Long Live Love

Today is my dad's and my stepmums fifth annaversary. I remember their wedding like it was last weekend, with some minor black outs... A happy happy night, and I hope tonight is as happy as it was five years ago, which I'm sure it is.

I love you both!

why we fight

So, my exams so far is not the best I've scored so far in my life. And to be honest, probably the worst. But I am not bitter. And for me to say that is a big deal. Say this would have been in high school and I would be thinking about ways to kill myself by now. Not a joke.

This whole thing here in London is really all about the experience and to learn as much as I possibly can, and maybe it doesn't show on a piece of paper, yet, but at least I can say that I feel it. I am more of an academic book person, so this way of learning is a new thing, and I love it, but it's not easy. And that's a part of why I do it.

Friday 13th

As far as now I don't think today is an unfortunate day at all.
I had a great time re-arranging a Fleetwood Mac song with one of the guitarists in my new P&I band, and I think this will turn out great.

I decided to scip the gym for now, and maybe for the whole day. I really need to study. Today I also realized a lot of mistakes in my reharm, so I have to fix that as well...

About half way there

The reharm is coming together, backwards.

Maybe I should be focusing on something that has to be handed in this term and not for the end of the academic year. But you know, theory is actually the only subject in school were I feel safe to say that I'm rocking.

I can't stop the way that I feel

Today was good. Piano is so much fun, I love my lessons on Thursdays, even though it's more or less just me playing, without the teacher involved. But it's nice to be motivated when she is around!

Then we had a class in the studio, and just like the class in Logic, it's way too long. But I guess once we start to record stuff, it will be more fun.

And, this term we are writing music to film clips. I'm a bit scared to be honest, but I'm sure I'll manage in the end. I just kind of have to start asap!

And the gym was good. Now I'm tired and I can't be bothered to cook proper food, so I've had winegums, carrots and hummos. Not the best, I know...

I'm thinking about studying, but my brain just doesn't cope. Maybe a shower will help.

yes ...

Some of yesterday's short films were pretty good I must say! I had a good time and got back not too late so that I could get a good night's sleep.

I don't know what else to say than that I love the whole positive vibe thing going on. Have a great day.

Stop your busy day and take five

Today was very good as well... My positive thinking is taking me through some hard challenges. Like sightreading and drumming.

Oh well I've practices for about two hours and now it's time to get ready for my friends boyfriends short film that got accepted for London Short Film Festival. Pretty cool!

first day back

So today I woke up at 5, and couldn't go back to sleep until 6. Then I woke up at 7.30 and did some practicing and made myself ready for going to school.

I had a lot of fun today. Especially in the Vocal Technique class.
Then we had to do Jingle Bells for our HR Workshop, I'm kind of over christmas and the whole thing sounded amazingly bad! Next week we're doing Take Five, that should be a proper challenge.

And the gym was PACKED. It was so much fun when I walked into "the guy area" to train my tiny shoulders with two 3 kilo weights. It was so packed with testosteron that I had to cry a bit on the inside. It's not that I wanna work out in a room full of weird looking men, it's just that I need mirrors for some excercises I do, so I have to sell my soul to the devil at peak hours.

Other than that I have tried to cook a chicked and some sweet potatoes for tomorrow's lunch. Burned bird in tha' house. It actually stings my eyes. And the funny part with this home is that the fire alarm goes off when I'm having a hot shower, but not when the food is on fire...

"I don't like the skin anyways..."

Be a go-getter

Yesterday I had a bit of a downer day, and the only person who got shit out from it was my bf. I just can't believe the person I end up being sometimes, it's like I don't know myself. And I watch me from the inside, shaking my head, but just continue being a stupid brat.

So after laying in the bath, scrubing of some old skin, I promised myself that I will be a better person. A person people will think about and say, "she's great".

And I will stop doubting myself. This whole thing with creativity this week has gotten to my head and I was actualy thinking, should I stop and consider doing something else. But then I saw a quote, I think it was Dalai Lama that said something like:

"If you hear a voice inside your head saying you can't paint, then you should pick up that brush and paint".

sunday morning

Good morning. I've been practicing some scales and some eartraining. My bf is still asleep so I might just do some vocal excercise while waiting for him for wake up.

Today is gonna be good I think. And I'm planning on buying myself a calender. I'm desperate to start planning and putting notes in there. I know I'm a geek, but the world needs us as well.

Have a great day!

meanwhile across the ocean...

More exciting things are happening in my home town in Sweden. Someone stabbed the owner in a restaurant, what a great saturday night activity. Just kidding. Horrible! And it wouldn't take me by suprice if I used to hang out with the bastard doing it too....

The flaming moon reminds me of...

Now I've listened to Autum Nocturne 13 times, and properly songing it about seven times too. I'm done for tonoght, waiting for a film or two to drop down...

My Saturday night out

Okay, I've decided to stick with my arrangement I already started. It's gonna be great. But right now Ijust want to go out and have anice time, with friends. But there is no one to go out with. Eighter, too jetlaged, or has no money, or rather put money on drinks than on food.

Well, instead I'm reading that Michelle Williams had to use a fake ass when filming that Marilyn Monroe film, and that Angelina Jolie gave Brad Pitt a waterfall for his birthday... I feel so much smarter.

So today I have been crying over the best show ever, called Swedish Heroes, or Svenska Hjältar, as it's called in Swedish. It's about ordinary people doing something heroic in the everyday life, like stopping a knife fight, or surviving and recovering from a brutal mayhem, or saving a friend from a bear.

Well, then I've tried to listen to songs to get some inspiration for my four pat harmony. And I'm soooo lost. I'm actually considering that I lack anything that has to do with creativity. But then again, at the same time, I'm thinking about dancing. So I just have to shape up and think about music in the way I think when I dance to it. And that's something I find easy, so why shouldn't creating it be?

weeks worth

I took an one hour sleep in today. I had the weirdest dreams. My whole family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, parents, brothers... everyone) was in it, and cats and dogs and tiny babies and a big version of our summer house, and then I was on the run and got help from a random man with a bike. Apparently I was talking a lot in my sleep as well.
Oh well.

Practicing different chords today.
Done, major, minor, dominant. Going on to major/minor.
Then some eartraining. After only a week, I can slightly feel that I'm getting better at hearing. Which is great, and it makes me wanna continue practicing.

Make the bed, light the light

I am wrecked after going to the gym, then to Clapham Common to pick up my bf's coat and after a nice meal made by myself.

We're gonna watch Final Destination and then I just want to sleep.

Tomorrow I hope to get loads done with my harmony arrangement. I'm tired of not liking what I created the day before. I'm gonna wake up with another point of view.

I can tell you, if I haven't already, that I'm doing a Queen song called Hammer to fall. It's quite up beat, so I was thinking about bringing the mood down a bit and let the lyrics come across more. Great song!

heading elsewhere

So I've worked on bits and pieces.. I'm confused with what I have gotten done at all now. Well, I'm gonna leave it for now and head to the gym instead, at least I know what I get done there. Today: back and biceps.

excitement

I'm having some great ideas for my four part harmony arrangement. I'm so excited, I hope I will K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid) enough though. I feel that I'm touching deep waters, but I haven't dived in, yet.

I read a quote that Ella Fitzgerald once said:

"I stole everything I heard, but mostly I stole from the horns".

Well, I'm not stealing from horn this time, but I'm inspired from something already done. But I guess that's how it is nowadays...

C D E F# G A B C

Is it weird that I feel a bit lazy if I sleep until 8 am in the mornings?
Well, I kind of do.

Yesterday I was wlking mith my bf to blockbusters and back. And I was singing all diferent kinds of modes and some of them I was really happy to hear that I did right, and I could also hear when I did something wrong. So maybe this boring week studying and practicing is paying off already. I hope so.

I know I have to continue practicing the same things throughout the whole year, but right now I don't feel like that matters. Plus, having no job for a while gives me shit loads of more time for myself.

lunch

Just got back from the gym, tired!
My lunch ended up being brown rice with avacado and hummos, and then some crisp bread with avocado and hummos. Tasty. But now I want sweets. I'm considering going out to buy some since I need to buy some other stuff too. Plus, I don't feel like I can start the arrangement without some sweets. Well, there you have it.

Januay 5th

It's just really hard to wake up in the mornings. This night I think I slept about nine hours and it was still hard to get up.

Last night I was awake listening to the bad wether banging on the windows and the roof. I found it quite cozy and safe under the duvet.

Well, I'm up now and I've practiced some modes, I'm thinking maybe going to the gym and get it over with before I continue doing my four part harmony. I'm just gonna do some eartraining before I leave.

carpet hugger

I have been laying on the floor for the past three hours. I think my lunch was a bit off maybe. I feel a whole lot better and now I'm trying to make my mind up if I should stay in and try to get some shit done, or head over to the gym. Or at least take a walk.

crazy ideas

Today's practicing is going better than yesterday. I'm cursing myself for starting to watch another series my mum has been nagging me to watch. It's really good, so I'm kind of going from practicing to watching series, to practicing, to watching series.

Well, I have practiced everything that was on my agenda for today, but I have loads of other stuff to do as well. Plus I wanna head to the gym too.

He said I need treatment

So studying is going okay. I'm trying to learn a jazz song that Mark Murphy is singing, called Twisted. It is just what it is too. TWISTED! Fucking hard song.

We have to sing a vocal solo in the way that he does it, and I've transcribed it to this.

Ooh! Shadudlieadoh,
duieadoh,
duieadoh,
dudlieaoh
dudah dudah dweeh
yahdahduh mmbujah
dohbah whah
woulyah oh-
wuh, buh duh
buuh - buh buh
buuh - buh buh
buuh - buh buh
buuh - buh buh
buuh - buh buh
buuh - my analyst told me...

Crazy shit! I rather go back to practice modes for a while. Or maybe some vocal exercices, I haven't practice much of my vocals since we went on a break. Not good at all.

get up, stand up

It was stormy this morning and I thought the wondow was gonna break again. The cold room made it so hard to get up from bed and it took a lot of snoozes to finally make the call to get up.

Now I'm gonna practice, and study, and create. Long day ahead.

just another snooz

Good morning, I took a little sleep in, and now it's 10 am. Time for some practicing and then I'm heading to the gym. Today is such a nice day outside, amazing!

clean start

Today I even cleaned my laptop screen. Still old, but shiny.

And I did some ugly manicure while going through the playlist.
All for the new year.

A whole lot of songs

And now I have gone through all of the songs on the list. There are pleanty other songs from another list I have to go through, but I don't think I can do it today. Some of the songs on that list was rubbish.

So far, I have 12 potential songs.
I have to go through them again as well.
And ask for a second oppinion.

Now my head is tired, but I'm gonna try to play around with my keyboard a bit.

Planning ahead

I've spent about one hour putting all of the next term's song opptions into a playlist on Spotify. Now I have to go through them all and think about which songs I possibly want to do for the next end of term gig. Planning ahead? Oh yes. I just don't want it to be as crazy as last term!

Happy 2012!

Happy new year people! I think 2012 will be great, as the past years in my life have been.

So a few thing I have to say.

Happy belated birthday grandma, I hope your birthday was amazing!
I hope you see today, the day you would have been married to grandad for 50 year, as a happy day. A day of love. I know he's not here anymore, and it hurts, but there are and pleanty other people that still are love you to bits.

It was two years ago I was at Copacabana beach starting my travel adventure that changed me and my view of life. I am so grateful even today for the experience and for all the people I met that made those five months the coolest thing I've evern done for myself. Happy new year to everyone or you our there in the world, from Israel, to Ecuador, to Hollywood, to Australia.


Yesterday I ran into an old co-worker who went back home to Iran because his dad was sick. He never came back and he never said anything. And I just happen to run into him on the tube. That made me happy, I though he'd never come back to finish his studies.


And so about last night. It didn't quite go as I was thinking. But I didn't really have a plan anyway, so I guess that's the wrong thing to say.

Anyways, I went to the gym and then around 8 pm me and my bf went to Clapham to meet up with his friends. I've met them before and some of them are really lovely people, I just don't have anything in common with them and I don't follow when they are speaking about something or someone I don't know. So I made an effort smiling at least. But then my bf and I started to argue and I decided to leave.

So I actually counted in the new year alone, with thousand and thousand of other people, watching the fire works. Then the hard work of getting anywhere started, and it took me about two hours to get home.

At first I felt a bit sad how things turned out, but then my dad called and I realized that you don't have to physically be with people to feel a connection. So I wasn't alone anymore. Thank you dad, that phone call came just on the right time. Love you!


And today my bf and I talked things through and I just can't wait to move so that him and I can have a healthy relationship. I don't want to live with anyone else, but I rather move than end up losing someone that important.


Today I am cleaning the house. New year, new sheets.
Then I'm gonna take some time studying and preparing for next term.