I get by with a little help from my friends

I've got some help from a friend. And now I'm going to the gym. One last mood to finish off, but I need a break, and what better than to sweat for a bit?

soon

Still wokring on my string arrangement. But I can gladly say that I am getting somewhere, slowly but steady. 

I think I will go to the gym in a couple of hours. I have not been able to go a lot lately, and it makes me feel bad. So yes. First I wanna do some more on my strings...

Doing it the natural way

Just came back home after my doctors appointment. I was suspecting the truth. I have a bladder infection, or a Cystitis as we also can call it. 

This time I'm not going on an antibiotic treatment. I'm gonna try a natural treatment that helped my friend from her troubles. So here we go. 

I guess by September we will know if it worked, because it was about that time the infection hit my kidneys (found out that today). That was not fun at all.

sleeping beauty

I fell into such a hard sleep last night. I slept well and I didn't wake up when Steve climed into bed after having nightmares. And I didn't wake up to his alarm or when he climed out of bed this morning. 

I feel great. 

Today I have one doctors appointment and then it's all about the strings. I might go to the gym, but I highly doubt it.

And I just wanna say Happy Birthday to my friend Rosaline in Sweden. I hope you'll have an amazing day. Can't wait to catch up when I get back to the motherland.

in the end...

I had my last exams today. 

My double bass exam went really well, I was so relieved since that was my most unsure exam. My dear friend Marie even Tweeted about it, haha, and I guess that made me happy and a bit proud of myself. 

And my 4 part harmony exam went well as well. So I can't be more than happy and proud of myself and the girls that were singing for me. Thank you so much!

Then the college had arrange a worshop with PP Arnold, a woman that has been in the business for about 45 years. Her lifestory was one of the most interesting and impressive things I've ever heard. She really was at the right place in the right moment. And man could she sing! At the age of 65+..... 

It was such a great ending of a great day. And it was worth every missed second I could have put my time on composing for my string quartet arrangement that has to be handed in on Friday. 

To end this day I'm going to bed.

the ending of last night

So last night was a bit hard. It ended with me being furious, having him move my keyboard into the room, since I had to wake up and practice early this morning. 

Then, since I had been crying, I wanted to steam, to clear everything and just to calm down. But with that I had to have his friend move into the bedroom, my keyboard and computer back into the living room, and me staying on the sofa for the night. 

Not to forget. I got really hot with this feeling of rage, so that I had to take a shower, but there was a HUGE night butterfly in the bathroom that I tried to kill over and over again. Eventually Steve came and flushed it down the toilet. 

Well, after all that I fell alseep around 4 am this morning. Leaving my only slightly too tried when my alarm went off a few hours later... 

I haven't felt this way in some time...

So it's 2 am and I'm so pissed off a person can be at this time of the day.
I went to sleep after a long day wirth of practicing, exams and more practicing. at 1.45 AM, my flatmate comes home, and not only does he wake me up, ha also brought a friend. Usually I wouldn't mind, but the fact that he not for once considered that I have two exams tomorrow and have to wake up early to practice and prepare for them, really upsets me. I can't even describe how much. And then come and say that he didn't know and he "texted" me about it. You can't really count a text if it's in the middle of the night and I already said long time ago that I was going to sleep.

I am so angry I don't know what to do. I tried crying, and I tried giving him a hard time, but he's eighter too drunk or too stupid to get the point. Now I'm left with a huge head ache and only a few more hours left to sleep. I think I will cry some more.

This is Calcutta, Vocal Exam is Dead

I think I did a pretty good job in my vocal exam today. I was a bit nervous in my first song, so I was a bit pitchy and got a tiny bit lost for a second. But I got back into it, and the rest of my exam I felt quite relaxed and happy to be honest. I'm glad it's over, but it feels a bit empty at the same time. What do I practice every day now?

Well, I've got pleany to do until tomorrow, so I better get to it.

Go get them Tiger

It's time to go to school.
I can do this,
I can do this,
I WILL DO THIS!

me no want

I just came back in after having lunch with the bf Steve. I can't believe we're actually moving apart, and I'm not looking forward to it to be honest. Even though it's how it has to be for now. It's hard, and I'm twisted...

I'm going in for the kill!

I'm feeling a bit better in my throat, but I am getting slightly nervous.

I think I will go out for some lunch and come back before I go to school.
Vocal exam, I'm gonna kill you.

nightmare

I had the worst dreams last night... all about my vocal exam I have later today.

In my dream I woke up really sick and went to school to do my exam anyways, but after many tries to sing my teacher told me to come another date, that would be a date after I went back to Sweden. But I ended up doing my exam before i left, but there was no real teachers that was holding my exam, just people that couldn't play piano, nor knew what a Dorian scale was. So I had to sing Twisted acapella, plus that I was still a bit ill... and there were people drilling in room next to us, plus other students were playing on a piano in back of the room...

It was aweful, but I still feel good about my exam. Time to go through everything one last time and hen just relax.

time has come

One exam down, three more to go.

I woke up this morning all soar-throated, but I still feel quite fine about tomorrow's big vocal exam anyways. I just can't believe that a whole years worth of practicing is coming down to tomorrow. I can't wait for the relief after. But still, two more exams on Wednesday. And string deadline on Friday. Then almost three weeks of relaxing, and house searching. I'm not looking forward to move out, but life has it's course somtimes.

I'm having an earlyish night tonight. My awesome book and a massage is awaiting me.

and you know two heads are better than one

Woke up today with a soar throat and a tiny bit blocked nose. My vocal exam is tomorrow, but I stay positive. I still feel ready, I just have to take it easy today and relax during the exam. I will be fine.

I've been doing some revising and now I', gonna go to the park in a bit. After my ab-workout program. Ha!

need shopping

I have to go out shopping, since I basically don't have a lot of summer clothes here and I cannot, will not walk around in long trousers or jeans. That would be suicide. And now I'm washign my shorts, which means that I have nothing to wear really... But I'm not leaving the flat yet, since I want to get some more pracitcing done, and maybe a little workout. And maybe even lunch, otherwise I will forget to eat lunch...

Saying good bye

I met up with my friend Will yesterday. We chilled in Hyde Park and then walked all the way to Earls Court. Then all of a sudden it was time to say good bye. Just like that. Eh, will I ever see him again? I actually don't know. One can always hope and try to stay in contact. But that might not always be enough, especially when you live on the other side of the world.

Anyways... You shouldn't be sad for what you lose, but be happy for what you got to have for a period of time. In the end, it all comes down to time.

In Love and War

So Steve, "the BF", came home after an evening out with his friends. As usual nowadays we had a stupid argument about nothing and everything.

He had talked about me to his friends of four weeks from this PT course he's doing. And what he got out from that was that I will not miss him and I will find someone to replace him with. 

The thing is. 

In a way those words are true. I mean, look... in war, soldiers die and new soldiers step forward to replace the lost ones. The same goes with love. Love may die or fade or grow into something else, so that new love can be found.

But do we really replace the lost people? Or do life just simple go on? How hard it seems at first... that feeling of being replaced hanging over you. I remember it like it was a sad song I just heard, yet it was over three years ago. Yet that feeling turned into something stronger and better, and eventually the feeling of being replaced was not there anymore.

Of course, there are occations where you really are replacing people. Like a shitty one night stand after a break-up. 

But then you realize that you couldn't replace what you wanted to replace, even if for a moment you thought you could. And you realize that you will have to live with some hard feelings for a while, and eventually that person you "replaced" will have a special place somewhere. Good or bad. He or she will still be there. Irreplacable.

Life goes on but memories are forever.

duuuuh

I've been lazy since I got home. And lazy means Facebook. But now I just logged off, and it's time to take a shower and maybe try to do something about my string arrangement...

Well, I'm looking forward to my shower at least.

another sunny day

I've been out more or less since 10.30 this morning, and I've been studying more or less all day. And I went to the gym to run 5 km, and it was really really hard at first. But I did it, and enjoyed the stretch after.

I think I should stay afaw from the sun a bit tomorrow, since I have got a heat rash, and it's pretty bad. But I know that won't happen...

On the way home from the tube I thought that maybe I needed a bit of salt, so I bought a big bad of crisps, that I finished in about 10 min. Now I have a tummy ache, of course. But it was tasty.

Time to practice some more...

good time

I'm going to the park nice and early today. I've practiced everything for my exam and now it's time to study music business while enjoying the sun. Peace out!

We'd be burnin!

It's 21°c outside... at 10 pm. I walked to blockbuster to return a film and realized that clothes are to overrated right now. 

Tomorrow it's suppose to be 26° and on Saturday 27°. I'm so glad I have no classes, and feel rather confident about my exams... so I can enjoy this as much as I want really. Still need to do my string arrangement though. I don't even wanna talk about it...

caaatsching

And today I got some a few hundred for a few days work in Sweden. NICE!

happy sigh....

Yet another nice day.. I think I can get used to it as well... Today I only stayed out in the sun for two hours though, I'm getting a heat rash and it's not very nice!

I think today I actually practiced for four hours, and studied for my music business exam for about one hour.... It kind of makes me want to study more.

I also managed to squeeze in a good leg workout at the gym.

Oh well, I think I might practice until the BF comes home.

unfair

Staying inside practicing in this weather is cruel! I'm gonna go through one more thing and in maximum 30 min I will SO head to the park, so read for my exam of course...

SUNNY DAYS, HAPPY DAYS

I'm having such a good day.

First a good study session at home, and then I went to the park to chill/study for exam. Then the BF came with his PT friends, so I was saved from studying.

I went to school and had a one to one with my teacher. It was sooo good. We went through stuff for my exams next week and I feel so much more confident now. It's gonna go well I think. Even though it doens't really matter how it goes since I'm so happy with how much I've learned.

I went to the gym and got sweaty after a short rehearsal with the band.
Then here at home I cooked some pretty sweet dinner for me and the BF. I would be such a good housewife if I wanted.

Time for some revising and chill!

Yesterday I sat out in the park from 10am to around 5 pm. It was SOOOOO sunny and hot, I actually took of my pants and sat with a scarf around my waste. Me and the girls did practice out 4 part harmony. But I could only squeeze in a 10 min sightreading practice all day. So today I'm gonna practice my shit! 

I'm so sunburned so I probably shouldn't go to the park, but how long have we not been waiting for the sun and the heat to come to us? For fucking ever! I will use sunblock today though.

And the best part of it being warm and sunny, after everything that's awesome with it, is that I wake up at 7 am, by myself, feeling all fresh and rested. So yes. I love this.

back to reality

My body is so soar, and waking up today was so hard.
One more week before my exam starts, so I have loads to do.
And today we're having leaving drinks for my good friend David. I'm so bummed that he's leaving. But at least I had the pleasure of getting to know him!

friends and food

My friend Marie is on her way here. We're gonna cook meatballs, but with red lentils instead. I'm quite excited about trying it I must say, even though meatballs are meatballs.

One more week until exams as well. But I must say that I've stopped freaking out. I'm so happy about my own progression that it doesn't really matter what happens on the exam. I mean, of course I want to get good grades, but it's not what's most important anymore.

gym, my dear friend

So I just came home from the gym. I feel so so so good. I was really excited when I woke up today and decided that I'm well enough to go for a workout. And man did I work out, oh yes!

And once again food is proven to be a lot more enjoyable than sweets. 

But I also came to the conclusion that Nandos sauce is the best and the worst thing ever created. It's tasty and spice the life up a bit. But it also takes over the rest of the favours and if you eat too much of it, your mouth is fucked for 15 min. But still you eat it again, and too much of it, again..

So I ate porridge around 8am and noodles with nasty turkey from yesterday around noon. Then I've been eating sweets. My mouth is kind of soar and my appetite is gone. But I'm boiling some veggies and see what's gonna happen..

go for now

So string arrangement is going forward. It's actually kind of funny to do, because I can't really paint a picture in my head and go from there. Everything comes from the moment. And how this will turn out is still a mystery, but I quite like the weirdness in the piece.

human nature

Yesterday I forgot to eat between 8 am and 6 pm, so when I cooked myself a stirfry that was gonna last for at least today as well, I ended up eating it all... then I spent the rest of the night in food coma watching old goodies like The Blue Lagoon.

I woke up today at 7 am and I just didn't get up until about 3 pm. So most of the good hours of the day is gone and I had things to get done with them. Like this string arrangement. 

I'm not meeting up with Marie, as planned, so I guess I can catch up tonight, since I'm meeting her tomorrow instead. 

As for now, I need to change into some proper clothes and get things for the house. You know those times when everything is out. Shampoo, toothpaste and toiletpaper and or course food.... Gah, yes, it's one of those times..

tomorrow, yesterday and today

Here I thought I was getting well again. Silly me. But now I've gone to Boots and got myself some cold defence and hopefully I will be sorted and good to go after the weekend. 

Time is flying soooo fast now, it's actually a bit scary. 

Music Business exam in 11 days

Vocal exam in 12 days

4 part harmony AND Double bass exam in 13 days

String Quartet arrangent deadline in 15 days. 

So yes, I've got pleny to do. Gah, I can't wait until this is over. 

But, as I said not too long ago, my friends are leaving. So the time management has do be spot on if I want to have a slight chance to proper meet up before! 

Speaking of friends. I met up with Viktor yesterday. At first we were listening to eachother moaning about various things, and drank beer. Then when we felt happier, and slightly drunk, we had a look at my reharm. So we came to the conclusion that I have grown a lot this year, and that now when my reharm is finished, with a little help from my friend, my teacher better get a hard on when he hears it. 

As for now, I shall retire from this and try to think Bartók and compose some crazy shit for a string quartet.

wake up dance

Starting the day with dancing around while getting dressed. I always used to to that, and today I have so much energy so it just felt wrong not to do it.

Time to practice before school.

time-travelling

San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua. 

May 15th 2010 

That's how i spent my evening two years ago. God how I miss those travelling days somtimes. Especially when there has been almost zero signs of summer this year, and it's almost June... So I dream back, and remember the good times and the great people I most likely will never see again.

i think that was it.

It's 10.15 pm and I am going to bed. I just don't feel that there is anything else I can do today. And sitting here by the computer, way to much, has become a bad habbit for me. Even though, of course, I have to work a lot by the computer. But since I'm not feeling like it tonight, I'm just simply not just gonna sit here. Especially not when I have a good book I quite like to continue reading...

Good night.

everybody's leaving

This morning my friend Viktor gave me the news that he's gonna move back to Sweden in about a month. 

Another friend, Will, is moving to Brazil in a couple of weeks.

And another one, David, is going back to Austria in a couple of weeks as well.

It makes me kind of sad. Three people I get along with really well are just leaving. And I've figured out something today, about this city. Unless you live in the same neighborhood, you might see your friends every couple of weeks, if you're lucky. All these people above I hardly ever see at all, yet I consider them my "closer friends" here. It's a shame. But oh well, on the bright side I have somewhere to stay once I'm back travelling the world again.

better than I think

I'm a bit ill, and I love how a cold always comes inconvinient. Anyways, I did have a good class this morning, and I realize that I have improved so much this past few months. I just have to start believe in myself and my abilities a bit more. Because in the end, I'm the only one from stopping myself. 

As for today I'm gonna practice some, and drink a lot of tea. 

Got ya

Who am I kidding? I wasn't gonna do yoga in the middle of the night. I'm gonna sleep, and wake up and train instead. Fresh, and during the day, like it's suppose to be.

So good night world.

Just me and myself tonight baby!

I've been quite productive today. Well, I got 3,5 hours of practice done, and a chocolate bar and a bag of jelly catepillars. So I'm quite content to be honest.

The man is out and about and won't be home until tomorrow, which means I'm throwing a serious party here tonight. Eh, maybe not. But I am gonna go wild and crazy and have a midnight yoga session. Then sleep like a baby.

I never forget you.

Yesterday was really nice. I didn't practice or thought about music at all really, and that hasn't happened in a very long time without me feeling bad about it. 

I got my bf a perfume, and got some nice cupcakes that got a bit crushed before i got home. And I also made pancakes. Soooo nice.

************************

Today has been a very nice day too. I hope these sunny days are here to stay for a bit. Makes my life so much easier to live.

*************************

Oh and I have my tickets back to Sweden for the summer. June 19th is the date I'll returne, but to be honest, I want to stay here. If only I had a gold pooping donkey....

Sunny!

Yesterday I wasn't feeling good at all. I have basically been sleeping since 10 pm to 7 am. I feel better, and it's SUNNY!

I have a few things to do today, since it's my bf's birthday. So I'm taking my usual practice time to make something nice for him.

That's all... Oh and I just remembered that my class has been postponed, so I have an extra hour to practice before going to the gym. NICE!

Me-time

I just took a 50 min long bath. Just reading and relaxing in the scented candle and steamy bathroom. I needed it badly, that damn week is just about to arrive. How come it never gets any easier? And why can't men just get an understanding of what we women go through?

mics

I'm taking the next step and buying my first micophone. I'm excited.

SUN, where are you?

We need more sun here in England! I feel tired all the time, and with exams coming up and project due to hand in, there's a lot do get done these coming weeks.

I didn't even go to the gym today. But now when I feel to tired in my head to study, I kind of wish I did.

in it for the kill

Today I killed myself at the gym. 

That's all I have to say.

One of those nights

Dear Grandad, tonight I was dreaming about you, again. So I didn't get a good sleep, but it doesn't matter. I miss you a lot, every day. 

**********************************

As for now I have so much to practice, but I feel weak. I could use another two hours sleep, but that would probably do me no good..

Time to practice.

BeColorBlind

Today was a long day and I have a sick head ache. I do feel quite positive though. Maybe because I have a huge amount of food in my belly... Thanks Bf.

taking my time

I've been eating a whole bag of popcorn myself. I guess that's better than chocolate, but still... I obviously can't go a day without being a pig.

And today was a complete disaster of studying. I think I need more pressure.

Sunday's charm

I woke up and dragged myself to the gym this morning. After yesterdays big PIG day, that was the least I could do to get my insides to forgive me. And afterwards it felt great. 

Then I met up with a friend from school and we had a "coffee" at the top floor in TATE. What a view!!!! And then we strolled around in the free exhibitions. 

Once home I was starving. 

I haven't studied much at all this weekend, and I feel kind of bad. Exams are really coming soon, and everything has to be handed in. Well.. I'm gonna do some sightreading at least. It would make me feel better about myself, since I'm clearly failing on finishing my reharm. I'm stuck and I don't wanna move anymore.

not much at all

Not much has been done... My reharm is a pain, but I will have my first sketch of it tomorrow, that is everything I'm asking of myself.

And I'm definitely going to the gym when I wake up. The amount of chocolate and sweets and pizza that has entered my body is shameful and I wish I could turn back time and maybe be a bit more considerate.

Oh well, time to do more of not much.

time

So I've been more or less awake for 6.5 hours now, I think it's time for me to leave the sofa and go do some work. Or maybe a walk to the store first, I think i need some air to clear my head.

not where I thought

I got so drunk last night, and I didn't even make it to the party. I forgot about the time and was caught up in meeting all these new people that goes to the BF's PT course. Nice group of people.

One great day

I'm having such a good day.
I had a nice little hard workout at the gym, and felt a bit jealous of all the people getting a PT to give them a stretch. But I guess you get when you pay for.

Then nobody came to class today, so I had a free one to one with my teacher. I doubt it can be better than that. Now I'm home, gonna do some pracitcing and all that. Exams are closing in on us!

bedtime story

Well, transcription is over... or I now realized that some of my notes are spelled wrong, but I won't fix that until I'm done with something else.

Tomorrow night is the last social thing I will attend to before my exams are over.. well, almost.. I will probably go to a gig or so, plus my good friend David is leaving the country, so we have to celebrate and take farewell of him too...

Well, it's 22.22 and I'm off to bed.

moving on

I think I finally officially finished and sent off my 4 part harmony score to my singers. If anything now I can't really be asked to take it back and change it again. That was the end of that period. Next period to kill is the Transcription Epoc. I hope it's a short story.

One of many things I do

I had a nice 20 min fast walk uphill and 10 min serious interval running on the treadmill today. It was a long time ago I was that red in my face. The stretch afterwards was amazing!

approaching

So I've been studying all evening.

My 4 part harm arr is more or less sorted, there is just one part I can't make happen it seems.
My reharm is slowly getting somewhere closer to be done, but I know I will need some serious help from a friend of mine, just for that extra goodness.

Oh well, there is a day tomorrow, that's for sure.

The nervs are on.

I just got a whole bunch of emails telling me when I have all of my exams. It's in less than a month, about two weeks earlier than I thought... I just got really, really nervous.

From now on, hard core devotion to my practice hours.

Going Gaga

Just got a text from my gran. She bought tickets to see Lady Gaga at the end of this summer. I don't love her music but I think it will be an epic experience!

Dear you

We had such a good band rehearsal last night. It makes a huge different on how the day will continue.

Then I came home, ate nice food and watched Dear John with the man.
Good day...