time is a mysterious thing

I didn't realise that the clocks was suppose to be turned forward today, so I had to run down to the gym to get to the core class in time, though I thought I wouldn't make it. My knees got fucked on the way.

Trained my back super hard today. 

It was really cold on the way back home from the gym too, since running kept me warm, and the sun was covered by clouds. Mean clouds. 


Been doing maths with D for about one hour too. Good good.. Time for a shower and the journey of writing Clavé. Can't wait for it to be over!

I love those days you wake up and the sun is alone in the sky. Not a cloud to be seen. This means that I will walk home from the gym today! 

twelve hours later

I left the house at 11.30 and suddenly I came home again and the time was midnight. 

Gym, rehearsal and pub is the short answer to that.
Had a proper good time today though...

There really is one topic that never goes old for anyone.
Sex. Six hours at the pub with two guys and a lot of sex talk. 
I eigher feel a bit wiser, or a bit scared. Jokes.

small treats

After waking up at 5.30 every morning, waking up at 7.30 am today was a real treat. I could probabaly do another hour or so, but I got shit to do.

good good

Today I went back to the gym, finally! I made my ass burn extra freaking hard as well. On Monday I'm starting clean, again, for real. One month of boring food and no chocolate and suuuuuper hard training. BOOM! Can't wait

I had a really nice day yesterday. 
Working with Andres is a blast, so the lack of sleep it accepted. 
Met up with the people I'm singing with, it was a little bit of a waste of time since nothing was prepared, but they are cool and it was a lot of fun. 

I played house wife and cleaned and washed and cooked amazing food, that was enjoyed in good company. The company stayed the night and what was yesterday is something else today. And it got there in probably the best way possible.

Tonight I'm doing maths with D and then we're drinking wine and dance around the flat. 

Life is good.

trouble

I had such trouble sleeping last night. Couldn't get comfy, woke up at 4 am, wide awake and then at 5.30 again. I'm not great today, but I made the call that it's better for me to sit here in school to get some work done. If I'd go home now I would go to sleep and be all fucked tonight when it's bed time again. 

 

I hate being sick. 

the things we said

Here I though I didn't feel creative. I don't wanna jonx it, but I'm on a good way on writing my ballad. Need some guitar parts and a melody, and there we go. Easier said than done. 

Need to get going on other, less fun stuff too. And eat a dinner I have no appetite of eating. Life could be worse though.

wrong hours

It's horrible to have to wake up so early in the morning. I'm fine once I'm up, but it's just too early in general. I come back home at 10 am and it feels like afternoon. 

Now it's 1 pm and I think I'm gonna take a little nap to be able to function later today as well.

dirt and grass

Rehearsal sounded quite alright today. My teacher was there and she was very positive about the sound, though she only heard two songs. 

I was a little bit productive when I got home and now I think I finally have my chords for the Ballad. I have tons of lyrics, but I need to get a nice melody going. 

I still feel like crap, but at least now I've done something, so I'm gonna take a shower to heat up and then crawl back into bed. I have no appetite, which is not really helping the healing process, but I'll try to eat again tomorrow.

Mondays...

After litterally spending 15 hours in bed I went to work this morning, wrapped in double everything and on beautiful drugs to keep a fever down. 

I feel a little better, though my body hurts still and my nose is blocked, and I feel cold in general. So I don't really feel all that great, if I have to be honest. But I have to get to uni for rehearsal. Four long hours. It has to be done, for the first time we're gonna be a full 10 people band, and I would only miss that if I was dying. Now I can just pitty myself, bring tea and get my ass down there.

now is not the time

Buu for feeling absolutely great in the morning, and like total shit a couple of hours later. My entire body hurts, and it's not from training. I have no appetite and I just popped a pill to maybe feel better in a bit.

I know the stresslevel has probably just gone down a bit and the body felt like it could relax, and as for almost everyone.. we get sick. But I still don't have time. I know I could just sit home and study, but I can't do that when even my ears hurts. 

I've slept for about 3 hours now, gonna sleep some more and then probabaly just wake up to go to bed again. I am not staying ill for more than today. And that's that!

recital gone dooown!

Rehearsal went quite alright today, so I have a little faith for the video recording. Plus, I have managed to postpone the video until the 5th of April, deadline day.. I just can't see it be any good on Monday, plus we still have so get things together as a whole band, and I need to finish my ballad ASAP still... 


Spent the rest of the day chilling to be honest. I'm trying to slow things down for a bit, so that I will have enough energy for the last sprint. But I will work slowly throughout the whole break, or that's the plan at least. And train hard. 

I'm just a girl

It was really nice to have my mum here this time. 

Yesterday I had to sit for 3 hours to finish my essay. She got restless and cleaned all the common areas in the house, changed my bed sheets, washed and put my clothes up to dry. Then she cut my hair, and while I was having a nap, she prepared a nice dinner. Soooooooo good to be a little bit spoiled! Ah, I love you mum! 

The gig last night was good too. Very relaxed and fun. Went a lot smoother than the gig on Wednesday, but that's just how it is I guess, when you're under no pressure at all. 


Today I hang with my mum in central until I had to leave her for a BV rehearsal. She had a place to catch eventually anyways, so it was all good. 

It was good to go back to the gym. I only had yesterday off, but it feels like ages. Can't wait for pilates class tomorrow. 


AND, the essay is over. Easter break has started and now I just gotta make sure I get shit done ASAP to minimize stress for later. 

Anyways. I'm home alone, which means belting in the shower and free drying afterwards. Nice one.

gig night

The gig last night went alright. We had two akward moments or silence of which I freaked out a little. There was some minor defaults for us as well, but over all I had quite fun. People were taking up their mobile phones on my slow song, I thought that was really nice!!! 

Today I finished my essay. It took me about three hours and my mym cleaned the house, changes my sheets and washed my clothes in boredom. Then she cooked me a nice dinner while I was taking a nap. 

Now it's time to go and play the set again. So too be continued. I hope today goes a little bit smoother than last night, though tonight it's just for the pure fun fact. Last night it was that. And grades.

Tuesday eve

This was the only way I could think of to end this long day. Well, my mum will be here in about one hour, but you know what I mean. 

The presentation didn't go that well for my own part. Fuck, numbers makes me nervous as fuck, and the teachers are being dickheads. Well not all of them. 

I think we're ready for the gig tomorrow. The new song sounds good and all is good. Just gonna be a good night. 

Well, I still need to finish my ballad AND write my essay. But I'll go for the ballad tonight. 

Until tomorrow.

busy times on our shoulders

I have littarally been studying most of my waken minutes of these past few days, including today. Fuck, haven't had a lot of time for anything but music business and essay and rehearsals. Skipped all classes today, except performance. 

Look. Fun shit I have to do when I'm specialising in performance. Fuck this shit!!

One more thing to add on the things to try not to stress out about is that our teacher made us start a complete new song and ditch one of the songs we had in the set since it didn't reall fit the genre. Fair enough, but the gig is in less than two days. I'm so freaking glad I'm not singing on that one. 

Tomorrow my mom is coming to visit, again. Only her this time, gonna be nice, though I'm soooo busy. I'll make it work though. Just need to get that freaking essay out of the way and prepare for the final rehearsal before the video recording of my recital set. Oh shit, I still need to finish my ballad. BALLS!



GOOD NIGHT!

fat-sat

I feel like this (me) is a sinking ship. Today I've litterally spent quite a lot of time trying to write my essay. I have ended up trashing the first one and starting a new one. Maybe not a good idea, but that's what happened. So yeah.. great. 

Today is Fat-Saturday. Litterally I've eaten chocolate and all kinds of shit since I got home from rehearsal. But I refuse to feel bad about it, it has been a comfort.

Yesterday I learned how to cook this amazing dish where you basically boil/steem chicken. D, showed me and it's sooo simple. Aaaah, so guess what I stocked up on when I went to the store today. 

Anyways, things just aint happening today. And I have to admit that I'm feeling guitly, but I am watching a film with Raae tonight.

Probably gonna fall asleep, but hey. I need that too.

nobody

Loooooong freaking day.

Was cleaning the officed with my friend Perea. Then we went straight to the studio in college and recorded one of my tunes. Just for a draft, but it sounds pretty sweet. 

Band rehearsal was alright. We were told to quiet down a little, and though it was pretty awkward to play the tunes like that it was quite refreshing as well. 

Training is all good, wuite busy at the gym, but in a way I like it. 

Been really annoyed today though. Men are just so annoying sometimes and I'm over it. But, I've gotten two new songs down from the missery they can give us girls, so it's all good. Though the songs are pretty angry. I'm not a hater, just a message can never be clear enough to the ears of men. 

Anyways, cleaning and band rehearsal is on the schedule tomorrow. Then I'm gonna train and go home and work on that stupid essay of ours. I'm not a hater, but I loaaad this assignment!

face of the day

Don't let me slide into my dark side

Yesterday was sooo long. 

Work, band rehearsal, training, private class, performance class and feedback session. 

I trained so hard yesterday. I'm back on just proper lifting that iron, and I love it. Went up to 60kg squats yesterday. Oh yes. 

My one to one teacher halped me make a plan for how I'm gonna handle the next two coming week to make the recording on the 25th even possible. God, so little time, but at least now I have a plan. 

Performance class was a little bit of a slaughter session. But that's just how it always goes with that teacher. I did think we've worked pretty well on the tunes, but I guess since it's litterally the genre the teacher does himself, we just got picked apart. We've got 8 days to get the shit together. 

The feedback session was long, as usual. I don't know why I reacted the way I did for my grade. I got a good grade, but in comparison to the rest of the band and other bands it just seemed low. And God and my flatmates know how hard I worked to sing these tunes in the style of Acid Jazz. It was fucking hard, and out of the 4 genres there was two other ones I could have pulled off without struggling this much. 

But I'm happy, I was completely out of my comfort zone and I enjoyed the process. I guess studying should never be easy. It just sucks when you try so hard and it still doesn't pay off the was you wanted it to.

We all went to the pub afterwards and I got a little bit drunk. And today I'm suffering from a headache and a extremely stiff lower body.

So not everyone came to my recital rehearsal today. Which kind of sucks, since I have to record the video in two weeks (?!)

Haven't gotten than much done today. Though I did manage to write a song, which I guess is something. 

Apparently I have to work tomorrow, so will be waking up at 5.30 am again. Buu, loooong day.

come see about me

No more 5.30 in the mornings! I feel like totala crap right now. My body is aching so much that my chest feels really heavy and makes it hard to breathe, and my head ache makes it hard to keep my right eye open.

Work is fine though, the woman I'm working with is so sweet. It's just the hours that are hard to addapt to. Apparently she thought I was gonna work Monday and Tuesday next week too. Well.... we'll see about that. I'm just so much of a zombie right now. 

Rehearsal was good. Got three songs more or less down, leaving us half way there. We're adding two more tomorrow as well. 

I went to the gym, but I left again before I even got to the changing room. What a stupid idea. Though, usually training helps me with any kind of pain or mood. But this is not one of them, I know for sure. 

As for right now, I'm gonna take a looooong hooooot bath, then lie in my bed and read a book. Sleep a little if my body wants to, which I'm positive that it wants. Then maybe try to sort out some backing vocals for my BV rehearsal tomorrow. Greaters! 

stiff like a tree

10 pm and I will retire to my bed. I've done as mush finance and essay as I possibly could have and I am still not done, yet I am content for today. There's nothing more my brain can produce that is not a recipe for failure.

Last morning of waking up at 5.45 am tomorrow. I will allow myself half a day off this weekend. Just gonna do nothing. Maybe read a book, maybe watch a film.. But I'm gonna take one half day to do absolutely nothing that has to do with Uni. That I promise myself.

eh, no

Well, that nap was nice, but didn't help me at all. Had a student's dinner = pasta and ketchup, and now I'm sipping on hot lemon water.

This head ache is not gonna make it easy for me, but here we go again.

nap

It's not even 4 pm and it feels so late. I didn't take a nap today, which maybe was a mistake. Been practicing my MP songs and now I have a head ache. 

Got feedback for my essay draft. I got shitloads to do, but at least now I kind of  know in which direction. Shouldn't be that hard one would think. 

Working on my bebop too. I'm getting there, or so I think.. until I send it to my teacher for some feedback. 

I think maybe I should take that nap, I won't be able to do anything until it's done. It has to be done.

this is your life

Alright.. Yesterday was sooo sunny and good. And I got some work done, and I do think that we can pull off the next gig.. Just a lot of hard work ahead. 

Working is all I do right now. And I'm sooooooo soooooo stressed. I realised today that my heart rate was up just thinking about all the things I need to get done and everything coming towards us like fucking express trains. So I went for a 45 min nap that turned into 2,5 hours. 

Then I woke up thinking I had overslept for work.
I'm doing a cleaning job 7-9 in the morning this week. Just a little money, but hey. Desperate times calls for desperate actions. Plus it's such an easy and relaxed job. And it pays better than working in that freaking restaurant ever did. Win win. 

So yeah. I'm a wreck, and I have a feeling that the feeling won't stop until the 13th of June, when all is said and done and I can go home for some recovery time. Boom. Back to work.

MONDAY MORNING

fuck my brain

I have litterally been sitting on my ass staring at numbers for the past six hours. I just went downstairs to get me some porridge for dinner and to refill my water bottle. Other than that I have done nothing but this shit. 

I know for sure I'm not going into finance if music doesn't work for me.

Brain fried

Yesterday I went to the gym, had band rehearsal and came back studying. Went out for a drink and just had a nice time. 

Today I went to the gym and then for a meeting that helped us with our PP group. But maaan, my brain is fried like a fucking KFC chicken. But lunch was for free, and I had a quite nice time with my business partners. 

It was really a srping day to the walk on Southbank was really lovely. 
Now I am suppose to get my shit together and to this finance part. Or do as much as I can, it's not easy for one second. Then I'm thinking a nice long sleep to compensate from lack of sleep last night.

Tipsy and High on Life

I have had a very bery nice evening with R and D and D's parents. A nice dinner, a few glasses of red wine and some conversations in danish and swedish. We really don't hang out enough in the house, though I must say that this place really do feel like home. I love living with these girls, even though we have different standards and minds about things. But we really do work really well togehter in this house. So so improtant. 

Time for bed. Loads of things planned for tomorrow. So come what may.