I have walked around this week thinking that I am doing pretty okay. I was convinced that I was doing okay, and maybe I really was... but today I was caught off guard seeing K on my way home through Broadway Market. My heart skipped a beat and I was instantly happy and horrified at the same time. A part of me wanted to run away hoping that he didn't see me, but I didn't dare to move and a part of me wanted him to see me.
He came up to me, gave me a hug and tried to make small talk. But when he asked me how I was my walls crashed down, I started crying and said that I had to go. Then I walked away, through the crowd, as quickly as I could, without looking back.
I am clearly not okay.
It's all quite a mess, and it's probably better off this way.
But in my dreams he reaches out and ask if we can try again.
At night I feel it the most and I find myself holding my hand on his pillow.
It takes everything in me not to reach out. But everytime I don't, I almost do.
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that
Everytime I don’t,
I almost do,
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that
Everytime I don’t,
I almost do,
And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that
Everytime I don’t,
I almost do,
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