Yesterday I had a massive realisation... something that K had try to communicate to me, in his own way, but which I never even began to realise.
I know I push and push when I want something, when I think something is right. But yesterday it hit me that I have pushed too hard because I didn't have faith in the process, because I was scared that if I stopped everything would fall apart. So what I did... instead of bringing us closer, made a bigger gap. Now we have ended up here, a place where two people love eachother it's crazy, but they don't know how to make it work. And for that I am truly sorry from my behalf.
Now the only thing I can do is to stop and see what happens. I don't know however long I will have to stay still for, but I know that time will either heal us together or heal us apart.
Thursday, 12 November 2015
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