Whatever news I've got

I woke up this morning with a mail from my cousin. Wrong cousin. I got a mail from her sister saying that I should finally understand why my cousin doesn't want to talk to me. And that she herself doesn't want to have anything to do with me eighter.

Sometimes I think I'm a heartless bitch. Not in the sence as being meen, even though I have my dark sides too. But I'm heartless because I just don't care about people turning their back on me. I don't feel anything. And then I don't care, because I think people make terrible decisions all the time.

My cousin for example. I was the friend she had when she was bullied in school. I took her to movies and bought her ice cream because she didn't have any money back in the days. I would like to say I helped her become a stronger person. And when she thinks she has everything she needs, she doesn't "need" me anymore. I do say meen things when I feel like they are ought to be said, I don't regret them. And if people would say meen things to me, I would probably bite back and then actually think about the reason that person said those things. But it's me. I know I'm not perfect. But I don't run and hide, especially from a person that actually means something to me.

And so for her sister then. Yes here it comes, that things that might be a bit too much. Just turn your back. I don't want to be surrounded by people that always has to take someones side in a situation that has nothing to do with you. You can judge me, but as I said, I'm a heartless bitch and I don't feel it. So go have fun talking about me during Christmas, because I know you guys probably wont have anything better to talk about when I'm not there.